I mean, I think this about a lot of Republican wives (Heidi Cruz?!?!?!?) who aren't Erin Hawley on the front lines trying to harm women as much as her husband does. The only conclusions I can come to are either 1) they agree with them and don't give a shit and/or 2) their proximity to the power center is more important than any personal opposition they may feel to whatever horrible thing their husband said or did that day. I admittedly don't know much about Usha Vance, but from what it sounds like--seeking out Amy Chua (who we know offered all kinds of advice to her female mentees to get them choice clerkships with a lot of conservative judges), clerking for Kavanaugh, etc, I have to assume she's more of the latter, but it's just as likely she's part of the former like Erin Hawley.
That may be ungenerous; I suppose there are people like Laura Bush who appear to be standing by simply out of love, which I guess is something.
Me too. I don’t know anything about Usha Vance. Has she ever said or done anything to suggest that she’s not aligned with JD’s values? I mean, Cheryl Hines has made it fairly clear how she feels about her husband’s political views and has spoken about how she is able to stay married to him, much to Larry David’s chagrin, I’m sure!
Just finished reading the book Liars by Sarah Manguso. The narrator has a great writing career when she gets married. Despite every intention not to, her marriage becomes a slow and steady fade of losing herself and falling into little more than shallow depths of mundane tasks of "mothering and housewifery." She follows her husband's less successful career (because why wouldn't she), and loses a piece of her career with each move, eventually having little left of her professional life. While her husband is not innocent of fault for her loss of self, it's clear the author blames The Patriarchy for at least part of her demise. Small compromises, almost always made by the wife, add up over time to a life the wife never expected and barely recognizes. I think it's a path that many (of course not all) married women can relate to or at least see themselves in part of the story.
The narrator convinces herself of a lot of things in her marriage to support the narrative she wants to believe about a long, lasting marriage, women's place in a marriage, stepping away from meaningful work to support her husband, etc... She comes to realize it's not what she wanted at all (and promised herself she'd never pursue), and then she ends up there. Definitely makes me think about Usha. Maybe she's made a series of compromises along the way under cultural and societal pressure (conscious and subconscious) that landed her in a place she never would have anticipated for herself when she was at Yale Law School and doesn't like today but also feels stuck?
Based on his public presence, Vance today is far from the person she married. At least publicly, he's done a complete 180.
Or... maybe she's fine with it? She's historically been conservative, right?
Any chance you could share more about what the survey is for? It's asking for a lot of information that I could imagine politicians could use for good or not so good. Given it's coming from you, I assume it's got a good end, but it feels kind of similar to the sketchy databases Republicans have been funding to use information in ways I've heard might not be so well intentioned. Thanks for any transparency you can provide and sorry if I missed it.
It’s to better understand the audience of people consuming news online from social media influencers like me. It’s a survey of my audience for me so I can explain to people why it’s important that I exist.
I imagine it’s a case of “crying all the way to the bank”. JD Vance doesn’t strike me as having an authentic bone in his body. He, and perhaps by extension, his wife, is about accumulating power, influence, and cash. I think she probably keeps a straight face because her eyes are very solidly on the prize. Couldn’t be me!
Knowing women who agree with this kind of harmful rhetoric… I think they have bought into the culture that women are meant to be submissive to their husbands. I know women with advanced degrees whose husbands have determined their “role” in the family. And they acquiesce to be an “obedient wife” whether they agree or not. I’m not saying they don’t enjoy being stay at home moms (or that it’s not a job! Because I think it is a VERY hard under appreciated job). I am saying that they didn’t have a say in the matter. It wasn’t a choice. They were told to stop working, so they did. Because that’s what good Christian wives do. And me, as a single working woman (with multiple advanced degrees)…. I am not living up to my potential. I get pity. Which is part of why I have a hard time being around those people anymore.
I don’t know Usha Vance. Or the other politicians wives. But I do wonder if by being in that orbit, with the ideology they espouse, that there must be some buy-in for them to stay in the relationship. And power is intoxicating. They are getting it vicariously.
I honestly can't imagine how she does aligns herself with this guy. What a lot of hoops that must be to jump through each day.
I mean, I think this about a lot of Republican wives (Heidi Cruz?!?!?!?) who aren't Erin Hawley on the front lines trying to harm women as much as her husband does. The only conclusions I can come to are either 1) they agree with them and don't give a shit and/or 2) their proximity to the power center is more important than any personal opposition they may feel to whatever horrible thing their husband said or did that day. I admittedly don't know much about Usha Vance, but from what it sounds like--seeking out Amy Chua (who we know offered all kinds of advice to her female mentees to get them choice clerkships with a lot of conservative judges), clerking for Kavanaugh, etc, I have to assume she's more of the latter, but it's just as likely she's part of the former like Erin Hawley.
That may be ungenerous; I suppose there are people like Laura Bush who appear to be standing by simply out of love, which I guess is something.
I came to say what Erin had said.
Me too. I don’t know anything about Usha Vance. Has she ever said or done anything to suggest that she’s not aligned with JD’s values? I mean, Cheryl Hines has made it fairly clear how she feels about her husband’s political views and has spoken about how she is able to stay married to him, much to Larry David’s chagrin, I’m sure!
Just finished reading the book Liars by Sarah Manguso. The narrator has a great writing career when she gets married. Despite every intention not to, her marriage becomes a slow and steady fade of losing herself and falling into little more than shallow depths of mundane tasks of "mothering and housewifery." She follows her husband's less successful career (because why wouldn't she), and loses a piece of her career with each move, eventually having little left of her professional life. While her husband is not innocent of fault for her loss of self, it's clear the author blames The Patriarchy for at least part of her demise. Small compromises, almost always made by the wife, add up over time to a life the wife never expected and barely recognizes. I think it's a path that many (of course not all) married women can relate to or at least see themselves in part of the story.
The narrator convinces herself of a lot of things in her marriage to support the narrative she wants to believe about a long, lasting marriage, women's place in a marriage, stepping away from meaningful work to support her husband, etc... She comes to realize it's not what she wanted at all (and promised herself she'd never pursue), and then she ends up there. Definitely makes me think about Usha. Maybe she's made a series of compromises along the way under cultural and societal pressure (conscious and subconscious) that landed her in a place she never would have anticipated for herself when she was at Yale Law School and doesn't like today but also feels stuck?
Based on his public presence, Vance today is far from the person she married. At least publicly, he's done a complete 180.
Or... maybe she's fine with it? She's historically been conservative, right?
I’ve been telling myself it’s next level compartmentalizing. Very difficult to understand.
Any chance you could share more about what the survey is for? It's asking for a lot of information that I could imagine politicians could use for good or not so good. Given it's coming from you, I assume it's got a good end, but it feels kind of similar to the sketchy databases Republicans have been funding to use information in ways I've heard might not be so well intentioned. Thanks for any transparency you can provide and sorry if I missed it.
It’s to better understand the audience of people consuming news online from social media influencers like me. It’s a survey of my audience for me so I can explain to people why it’s important that I exist.
Got it. Thanks!
I imagine it’s a case of “crying all the way to the bank”. JD Vance doesn’t strike me as having an authentic bone in his body. He, and perhaps by extension, his wife, is about accumulating power, influence, and cash. I think she probably keeps a straight face because her eyes are very solidly on the prize. Couldn’t be me!
Knowing women who agree with this kind of harmful rhetoric… I think they have bought into the culture that women are meant to be submissive to their husbands. I know women with advanced degrees whose husbands have determined their “role” in the family. And they acquiesce to be an “obedient wife” whether they agree or not. I’m not saying they don’t enjoy being stay at home moms (or that it’s not a job! Because I think it is a VERY hard under appreciated job). I am saying that they didn’t have a say in the matter. It wasn’t a choice. They were told to stop working, so they did. Because that’s what good Christian wives do. And me, as a single working woman (with multiple advanced degrees)…. I am not living up to my potential. I get pity. Which is part of why I have a hard time being around those people anymore.
I don’t know Usha Vance. Or the other politicians wives. But I do wonder if by being in that orbit, with the ideology they espouse, that there must be some buy-in for them to stay in the relationship. And power is intoxicating. They are getting it vicariously.