I just finished reading "The Five Resets" by Dr. Aditi Nerurkar (highly recommend, especially for my fellow burnt-out activists) and something that really stuck with me is her explanation of why we "doomscroll" and what's actually happening in our brain when we do this. Evolutionarily, in order to survive, we had to be constantly scanning our surroundings to look for danger. Nowadays, most things that alarm us come out of our phone, so we feel this natural instinct to scan it in order to feel safe.
Knowing that, when I'm really on a tear of scrolling I ask myself "Am I checking for danger or hoping to find safety?" And, usually, the answer is safety. Knowing I'm unlikely to find that on Instagram it's become easier to put my phone down and go do something that actually makes me feel safe in these unsafe times.
This is so well written. This part is what, after following you for a while, is so on brand for you in such a good way and what resonates most for me: "I'm not talking about forced optimism. I'm talking about finding meaning in the act of engagement itself, even when (especially when) we can't guarantee the outcome." I'm trying to engage more within my circle of friends, because you've convinced me that every tiny little bit matters. I don't have to influence 1000 people to engage civically, I am helping myself and the world if I influence one person to engage in even a "small" way. And to give myself grace if the only way I engage is in a "small" way.
I am right there with you — this part resonated deeply with me as well. If we all focused on the small actions in our daily lives, we may just find our small circles start to overlap with others’ small circles; or we may build each other up enough (with love and care and nurturing) to take on the bigger, more daunting challenges; or we may find that there is a lot of power in our small circles, more than we realized before; or we may just find so much joy that the problems feel less burdensome, and with that more expanded mind (open from positive, while the negative gives us tunnel vision) find creative solutions we can try.
There is so much potential in focusing on the small things and finding meaning in the action of engagement. This also reflects a core aspect of compassion practice that is often misunderstood: we drown in empathy fatigue when we get stuck at feeling with others; compassion requires we move past that toward engagement and finding meaning in that engagement. Even if we feel like we can’t achieve the outcome we want to alleviate another’s suffering, the engagement matters. And that engagement helps us prevent burnout.
Thank you. This was a beautiful piece that I very much needed to hear today. Being a leader in my local lgbtq community means that I’m doing a lot of emotional first aid (while also grieving/scared myself). This helped me reframe that is also an action and making meaning.
I believe: pick 1-2 issues to stay informed on and involved in. I don’t believe knowing all the news all the time is necessary and we will all be crushed if we comb through all of it. Those 1-2 issues, you show up at meetings, you donate, you stay informed. If everyone put serious effort into 1-2 issues instead of no effort but a lot of reading and feeling sadness into 20 issues, we would get stuff done AND not be overwhelmed. I read the news at lunch so I don’t start my day with it or end my day with it. I don’t look at news again after that. I scan headlines and read a few of the articles. Please pick 1-2 issues, get involved in them, and make a difference! (I am in Mothers Against Media Addiction, and on my kid’s PTA where I work on building community among parents at the school, among other things.)
Thank you for this Emily. "You are not alone" was what I needed to hear this morning...I was questioning whether commenting on social media is even worth it when I'm trying to let my Senator know I support him because the replies to me are so filled with hate. I'm not sure who these human beings truly are in our society who feel it's ok to hide behind a keyboard and be vile and disgusting and truly cruel. I'm blocking, deleting and moving on but reading your message inspires me to keep going today, in new ways. Thank you.
This part for me. “When given the option between helping others and self preservation, he chose to help.”
We always have a choice. We can give into despair and apathy or we can choose to show up for each other and those in our communities who are the most vulnerable. Even the smallest actions have the power to compound. Thank you for sharing your words. Heading into the weekend hopeful and ready for action.
Caring so much and being so deeply affected by the shock doctrine of the new administration means we are in touch with our humanity and that’s beautiful. Imagine the alternative.
Thank you. I really needed to see this today. I will continue to show up in small meaningful ways. And encourage others to do so. Thanks for all you do.
I just finished reading "The Five Resets" by Dr. Aditi Nerurkar (highly recommend, especially for my fellow burnt-out activists) and something that really stuck with me is her explanation of why we "doomscroll" and what's actually happening in our brain when we do this. Evolutionarily, in order to survive, we had to be constantly scanning our surroundings to look for danger. Nowadays, most things that alarm us come out of our phone, so we feel this natural instinct to scan it in order to feel safe.
Knowing that, when I'm really on a tear of scrolling I ask myself "Am I checking for danger or hoping to find safety?" And, usually, the answer is safety. Knowing I'm unlikely to find that on Instagram it's become easier to put my phone down and go do something that actually makes me feel safe in these unsafe times.
This is a great insight! TY for sharing
This is so incredibly helpful. Thank you!
Great insight. I’m going to go read my book for a break! Thanks for sharing, Dani.
This is so well written. This part is what, after following you for a while, is so on brand for you in such a good way and what resonates most for me: "I'm not talking about forced optimism. I'm talking about finding meaning in the act of engagement itself, even when (especially when) we can't guarantee the outcome." I'm trying to engage more within my circle of friends, because you've convinced me that every tiny little bit matters. I don't have to influence 1000 people to engage civically, I am helping myself and the world if I influence one person to engage in even a "small" way. And to give myself grace if the only way I engage is in a "small" way.
I am right there with you — this part resonated deeply with me as well. If we all focused on the small actions in our daily lives, we may just find our small circles start to overlap with others’ small circles; or we may build each other up enough (with love and care and nurturing) to take on the bigger, more daunting challenges; or we may find that there is a lot of power in our small circles, more than we realized before; or we may just find so much joy that the problems feel less burdensome, and with that more expanded mind (open from positive, while the negative gives us tunnel vision) find creative solutions we can try.
There is so much potential in focusing on the small things and finding meaning in the action of engagement. This also reflects a core aspect of compassion practice that is often misunderstood: we drown in empathy fatigue when we get stuck at feeling with others; compassion requires we move past that toward engagement and finding meaning in that engagement. Even if we feel like we can’t achieve the outcome we want to alleviate another’s suffering, the engagement matters. And that engagement helps us prevent burnout.
This was a great read after a long week. Thank you Emily.
Thank you. This was a beautiful piece that I very much needed to hear today. Being a leader in my local lgbtq community means that I’m doing a lot of emotional first aid (while also grieving/scared myself). This helped me reframe that is also an action and making meaning.
I believe: pick 1-2 issues to stay informed on and involved in. I don’t believe knowing all the news all the time is necessary and we will all be crushed if we comb through all of it. Those 1-2 issues, you show up at meetings, you donate, you stay informed. If everyone put serious effort into 1-2 issues instead of no effort but a lot of reading and feeling sadness into 20 issues, we would get stuff done AND not be overwhelmed. I read the news at lunch so I don’t start my day with it or end my day with it. I don’t look at news again after that. I scan headlines and read a few of the articles. Please pick 1-2 issues, get involved in them, and make a difference! (I am in Mothers Against Media Addiction, and on my kid’s PTA where I work on building community among parents at the school, among other things.)
Thank you for this Emily. "You are not alone" was what I needed to hear this morning...I was questioning whether commenting on social media is even worth it when I'm trying to let my Senator know I support him because the replies to me are so filled with hate. I'm not sure who these human beings truly are in our society who feel it's ok to hide behind a keyboard and be vile and disgusting and truly cruel. I'm blocking, deleting and moving on but reading your message inspires me to keep going today, in new ways. Thank you.
Started listening to Democracy in Retrograde on Spotify and I'm SO IMPRESSED with it so far.
“How do we deal with everything happening in such a way that it propels us forward towards a better future?”
Great question—thank you for this insightful essay!
This part for me. “When given the option between helping others and self preservation, he chose to help.”
We always have a choice. We can give into despair and apathy or we can choose to show up for each other and those in our communities who are the most vulnerable. Even the smallest actions have the power to compound. Thank you for sharing your words. Heading into the weekend hopeful and ready for action.
Thank you. I will read this several times a day for as long as I need to. We are not alone.
Beautiful Emily!
Caring so much and being so deeply affected by the shock doctrine of the new administration means we are in touch with our humanity and that’s beautiful. Imagine the alternative.
Time to channel that into action.
Stay strong- find the joy- two things can be true at the same time- do what you can - 💪👊🏽
Wow, I really needed to read this. Thank you.
Thanks! I haven’t read Man’s search for meaning since college but it’s currently sitting on my bookshelf. Might be time to re read it
Thank you. I really needed to see this today. I will continue to show up in small meaningful ways. And encourage others to do so. Thanks for all you do.
This is such a helpful perspective to hold. Thank you ❤️