Making Better Resolutions for 2025

More joy, less garbage, more connection, less doom scrolling

ICYMI:

The raw milk debate is only going to heat up this year and it will be a big health issue. We should all arm ourselves with info.

If you’re looking for a way to focus your energy on civic engagement about guns I have some tips for you.

Happy New Year to those who celebrate. Happy Wednesday to those who don’t.

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Jo and I recently recorded a podcast on New Year's Resolutions and I struggled. (Find the podcast on apple, spotify & everywhere else.)

I am a classic millennial child of the aughts, steeped in the print magazine, Cosmo-ridden world of Britney & Christina’s eight-pack airbrushed abs, made in a time when we called Renée Zellweger fat. I was raised on a strict diet of New Year's resolutions centered around food and fitness, in a world where women were never enough.

As the years have gone by we have all realized how profoundly toxic that was but capitalism swooped in to bring us habit-stacking, bullet journaling, hustle culture and a litany of ways for people trying to sell us things to profit on the ‘New Year, New You’ ethos.

There’s a reason a lot of us feel anxiety on the cusp of the new year. We’ve really been programmed to think that this changing of the date might just possibly change everything about us if we just try harder, work smarter, buy the class and completely change who we are.

But here’s the upside to all of it! I do think that the new year offers a wonderful opportunity to reflect on our lives, to think about what is and isn’t bringing us joy, fulfillment and contentment. It also offers us a chance to come up with a plan to change what we have power over and to let go of what we don’t.

Marketers make a lot of money off of our new year anxiety, but what if we decided to just let it go. What if we decided that this won’t be the week that changes us forever and instead asked ourselves some questions about what will truly add value to our lives in the coming months.

I want you to forget the pressure to ‘fix’ yourself in the new year. You’re not a broken thing to be mended—you’re a whole person, and wanting to grow in ways that feel authentic is exciting. Here’s a worksheet to help you build resolutions that make your life richer, not your stress higher:

This one is definitely more fun to do with friends so feel free to share it and work on this together.

1. Let Go of the Pressure

Before diving into resolutions, take a moment to reflect on the expectations you’re carrying into the new year. You don’t need to do this today or tomorrow. Resolutions don’t expire if you don’t do them or think about them the first week of January. Save this newsletter until February and start then if you want. No pressure.

2. Reflect on the Past Year

What made you feel good in 2024? Like really good, not the kind of good that you feel when you get a like on social media, but actually good in your body and your brain. Here are some questions to get you started.

• What moments made you smile or laugh until it hurt?

• Which habits or routines improved your life or made you feel supported??

• Were there actions you took that gave you a sense of pride or accomplishment?

• Who were the people that left you feeling seen, loved, and understood?

• Were there places—a cozy corner of your home, a park, or even a new city—that felt like your sanctuary?

• Did books, shows, podcasts, or music bring you joy? What made them resonate with you?

• How did you consume content—did flipping through a printed book or magazine feel more satisfying than scrolling on your phone?

• Did certain kinds of communication feel more fulfilling—like long, uninterrupted phone calls versus quick texts?

• How did you nourish yourself? Did cooking spark creativity and comfort, or did the convenience of takeout make life easier and less stressful?

• Were your happiest memories tied to travel, being with people, or even quiet, unstructured alone time?

• Did you embrace spontaneity, or did you thrive on structure and planning?

What made you feel like garbage?

• Were there habits, routines, or actions that drained your energy?

• Did certain interactions with people leave you feeling small, anxious, or misunderstood?

• Were there commitments or obligations that felt like too much, even though you took them on anyway?

• Did you spend too much time in environments that didn’t feel good—whether physical spaces or online spaces?

• Were there moments when you ignored your own needs to keep up with appearances or expectations?

• Did comparison steal your joy? Social media? Unrealistic standards you set for yourself?

• Did you overcommit or say “yes” to things that should’ve been a “no”?

• Were there hobbies or activities you thought would bring you happiness, but instead just added stress?

This isn’t about beating yourself up; it’s about identifying what’s not serving you so you can let it go.

3. Find the Themes and Draw Your Conclusions

Do you need a break? That was a lot. Take one if you need it. Go read a book or have a snack. Come back when you’re ready. Now that you’ve reflected on 2024, it’s time to figure out the patterns hiding in your answers. I am a print girlie at heart so I like to print these and then highlight or circle them and come back later. In fact one of my “things” for 2025 is to do more things off my screen!

A. Look at your “feel-good” list:

• Are there common threads? For example: Do most of your joyful moments involve certain people, places, or activities? Was nature a recurring theme? Did small, quiet rituals bring you peace?

• What values or priorities do these moments reflect? Maybe connection, creativity, freedom, or rest felt important to you.

• What actions brought you joy? Is it spending time with certain people? Embracing a hobby or passion project? Savoring small rituals, like your morning coffee or evening walks?

Write down at least one theme, one value and one action that brings you joy.

B. Examine your “made-me-feel-like-garbage” list:

• What patterns or recurring frustrations do you notice? For instance: Were there specific environments, relationships, or commitments that consistently drained you? How much does screen time take out of you?

• What is one thing that brings you stress that you can work on? Be realistic and kind to yourself here—this isn’t about fixing everything. Just pick one stressor that feels manageable to address. Is it about setting boundaries with certain people? Cutting back on overcommitting? Simplifying a part of your routine that feels overwhelming? Going to sleep earlier?

Write down one pattern, one habit and/or one action you can change to ease this stress in 2025. Just one. You can come back later and write down more. You can keep this list all year and come back to it when you feel like it.

4. Strengthen Your Connections

Building meaningful relationships isn’t just about showing up for others—it’s also about creating a community where people show up for you. This year, let’s focus on cultivating connections that feel balanced, supportive, and intentional. Whether it’s nurturing existing relationships or creating new ones, the goal is to build a network of trust and care that lifts you up when you need it most.

A. How Did You Show Up For Others in 2024?

• Who did you consistently show up for?

• Did you feel fulfilled or appreciated in those moments?

• Were there times you went above and beyond to support someone?

• How did those efforts make you feel?

• Are there relationships where you feel you gave a lot, but it wasn’t reciprocated?

• Did this imbalance leave you feeling drained?

Take a moment to acknowledge one way you’re proud of how you showed up for others in 2024. Then think about the flip side. Which moments of showing up drained you?

B. How Did Others Show Up For You?

• Did people show up for you when you needed them?

• If not, what barriers might have prevented them from doing so?

• Who made you feel seen, heard, or supported?

• What made those relationships feel strong?

• Are there people in your life who consistently didn’t show up for you?

• How did that affect your connection with them?

Write down one area where you’d like to see more support from your community. Write down one where you think you can be more supportive or better at showing up.

C. Cultivate a Community That Shows Up

If you feel like you don’t have the support you need, it’s time to think about how to cultivate a community where people will show up for you. Building these relationships takes time, vulnerability, and intentionality, but it starts with small steps:

• Be honest about your needs.

• Are you clear with others about when and how you need support?

• Practice asking for help in ways that feel specific and manageable.

• Choose your energy investments wisely.

• Focus on people who align with your values and show genuine interest in your well-being.

• Let go of relationships that consistently drain you or feel one-sided.

• Show up consistently.

• Building a village is work. You have to make your own deposits in the village account. Make an effort to check in, celebrate milestones, and simply be present for the people who matter most.

D. Strengthen Your Bonds in 2025

Think about how you want to nurture your relationships this year:

• Is there someone you’ve been missing? How can you reconnect—a text, a call, or scheduling a get-together? How can you show up more intentionally for those people?

• Are there relationships you want to cultivate, build or grow? How can you find new people - a hobby, going to a civic or religious activity, saying yes to that dinner party and asking your new friend for a number? Starting a book club? (EYP fave!)

5. Prioritize Connection with Yourself

Connection isn’t just about others; it’s also about strengthening your relationship with you.

A. Reflect on 2024

• Did you carve out time for self-care, reflection, and rest in 2024?

• Were there moments when you ignored your own needs to prioritize others?

• What’s one thing you can do in 2025 to nurture yourself?

Write down one way you want to “show up” for yourself this year.

B. Set a Connection Goal for 2025

• With others, for example “Check in with my best friend once a week,” or “Reconnect with one old friend each month,” or “Plan monthly book club with friends.”

• With yourself, for example “Take one day off every month to recharge,” or “Journal every Sunday to reflect on the week,” or “Be more open about my needs and ask for help when I need it.”

Bring it all together

1. Set one resolution that focuses on joy.

2. Set one resolution that reduces stress.

3. Set one resolution that focuses on connection with others.

4. Set one resolution that focuses on connection with yourself.

The best resolutions aren’t about massive transformation and becoming a totally new human being; they’re about being honest with ourselves and creating lives that feel good to live in. You’re already enough, just as you are.